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"I don't understand," Susan Ivanova said quickly.
"If it doesn't have to do with the station, why did you want to speak to
me?"
Talia Winters found herself uncharacteristically nervous.
"I, just...would you like a drink?" she asked, hoping to break the
tension in the room.
"No," Ivanova snapped, uncertain how to respond to the
other woman's mood. "What I'd like, is to know what's going on."
"You are not making this any easier," Winters muttered
under her breath as she moved to pour herself a drink. It was non-alcoholic; the
last thing she needed was the added stress of trying to control her abilities
while under the influence, but the activity gave her something to do with her
hands.
Ivanova watched it all in confusion, tinged with the automatic
resentment she always felt when dealing with any member of Psi Corps. "Am I
here for a reason?" She finally asked, with growing irritation over the
delays. "I mean, did you actually need something, or was this just a whim
to waste my time?"
"Yes," Winters snapped with nearly equal irritation.
"that is, yes, I wanted something and no, it wasn't just a whim." This
was proving to be a lot harder than she had expected, partially because of
Ivanova's impatience and partially because of her own hesitancy to broach the
subject on her mind. She took a deep breath and let it out to ease her own
tensions before continuing. "I just wanted to see if we could come to some
kind of peace accord between us."
The commander blinked and seemed to pull back physically as well
as mentally, her expression suddenly suspicious. "I wasn't aware there was
a war going on," she muttered dryly.
"Weren't you?" Talia demanded with more bitterness
than she had intended. "You hate my guts and the rest of the station
follows your lead. Frankly, it's beginning to wear on my nerves."
"Life can be hard sometimes," Ivanova said with a
shrug.
Winters just stared at her for a long moment, before sighing
softly. "Pardon me for wasting you time, Commander," she said in a
defeated voice. She was surprised by the flash of pain she felt at surrendering
the battle. She had not thought success was that important until the moment it
seemed to slip from her grasp.
Susan turned as if to leave, but didn't. Finally, she turned
back around, her expression almost contrite. "Look, I don't hate you.
But every time I look at that uniform," she swung her hand in Winters'
direction. "All I can think of is..."
"Your mother," Talia finished for her.
"My mother," Ivanova agreed bitterly. "And what
the people you work for did to her."
Winters stared hard into her drink. "I'm sorry for what
they did...sorry for the pain they caused." She looked back up, catching
and holding Ivanova's gaze through sheer force of will. "But I can't change
it. I was made a ward of Psi Corps when I was five years old." There was
suddenly something painfully lost in the blonde's eyes and voice. "In all
that time, I've never doubted what they taught me. "
"Maybe it's time you started," Ivanova suggested
gently.
Talia's lips curved in a slight, self-deprecating smile.
"It's not that easy...Would that it were..."
Ivanova frowned, startled by the sudden flash of pity she
experienced for the other woman. For a brief moment, she forgot her hatred of
Psi Corps. "What would you do if it were?' she asked curiously.
Winters blinked, visibly caught off guard by the question.
"I'd get drunk," she answered off the the cuff.
The brunette raised her brows. "Dont' tell me you've never
been drunk."
Winters shook her head. "No. I've had alcohol, of course,
but only in small amounts. As a telepath, it wouldn't be safe to have
more."
"Wouldn't be safe," Ivanova repeated disbelievingly,
"What, you might think unapproved thoughts?"
Talia seemed almost to flinch at the sarcasm in the other
woman's voice. "No, I might read them," she said very softly.
Ivanova froze, sensing that she had responded badly to the
situation.
After a long and rather painful silence, Winters
explained," It takes control for me to keep from listening to others
thoughts. Without inhibitions, I could hurt someone."
Susan frowned. "So, you could accidentally listen in. It's
rude, but--"
"I could do more than just listen in," Winters cut her
off. "I could force my way in...almost like rape." She looked away,
her expression grim. "I'd never intentionally do that to anyone, but when
you're not fully in control, you can do things you regret...later."
The commander frowned. "You're saying you can..."
Winters quirked her eyebrows in response and something in her
expression made Susan Ivanova want to run for cover. There was something very
appealing about Talia Winters, but also something deadly dangerous. Pale blue
eyes held the brunette in place, controlling the urge to flee. The mind touch
was only the faintest ghosting contact, a caress of infinite gentleness.
Ivanova's hands clenched at her sides, but she didn't move...couldn't move.
It was totally against every single bit of Psi Corps training,
and Talia winters knew it. By rights, the commander could have her thrown off
the station or even into prison for what she was doing, but somehow, the woman
just didn't seem to care at that moment. The need to share some small part of
herself with another human being overwhelmed all of the usual blocks her
training created.
Ivanova's mouth worked soundlessly as she wanted to say
something, but the words just weren't there.
Finally, Winters let go, pulling away from the slight contact
and breaking the controlling gaze.
Susan exhaled hard and seemed to sway slightly.
"Breathe deeply for a moment, the feeling will pass,"
Winters instructed gently.
When the Earth Force officer looked up again, the blonde was
sitting on the large couch in the center of the room, legs folded under her,
watching expectantly. "Damn you," she hissed angrily. "Do you
know what I could do to you for that?"
Winters shrugged. "If you want to press charges, I won't
protest."
"I ought to. I really ought to," Ivanova stormed and
started to pace to let off stress. She'd gone no more than 3 steps when she
pivoted to stare at the other woman. "What do you mean, you won't
protest?" she demanded in a voice full of righteous indignation.
"Just what I said," Winters responded surprisingly
calmly.
"Of course you'll protest, you're Psi Corps," Ivanova
exclaimed.
"What I did was wrong. I had no right."
Unused to any member of Psi Corps showing anything even vaguely
akin to regret, Susan just stared. This was not going at all the way it was
supposed to. As the moment stretched on, uncomfortable thoughts began to play
through her brain. Like the fact that there had been precious little force in
the mental caress, and it had reached some part of her she wasn't certain she
really wanted to acknowledge. She chewed on her lower lip as she stared at the
other woman. Finally, she whispered, "Why did you do it?"
Talia considered the question for a moment before answering.
"Probably the same reason I invited you here."
"A cessation of hostilities," Ivanova muttered dryly
and folded her arms across her chest.
"Or perhaps," Winters began carefully, eyes sliding
away from Ivanova's, "An exploration of other...things."
The Russian woman looked uncomfortable at that thought and she
too looked away. "This is not easy for me," she exhaled after a long,
uncomfortable silence.
Winters shrugged. "Join the club," she said wryly.
Ivanova started to speak, only to stop, back up and start again.
Again she halted before saying anything. Finally, she asked simply. "What
do you want from me?"
"I think you know that answer to that," Winters said
in a rush.
Susan shook her head. "You're Psi Corps," she muttered
by way of reply.
"I work for Psi Corps. I'd like to think that's not all
there is to my life."
Ivanova's eyes slid closed. "Before this, the only person
who ever touched my mind was my mother." She opened them again to stare at
Winters, searching for something. "Can you understand what it's like for a
child to have that kind of love from a parent?" She moved away, pouring
herself a drink to cover her own uncertainties.
"No. I don't really remember my parents. They died when I
was very young."
Susan frowned slightly as she turned back, but didn’t
challenge the assertion. She’d heard rumors that children who tested positive
were simply taken from their children and told their parents were dead. She’d
also heard darker rumors that any parents who resisted really did wind up dead.
"You must have tested positive when you were very young," she
murmured, her tone carefully neutral.
Talia stared at her, sensing the wall that went between them
again, though this time, she sensed it wasn’t directed at her, but rather to
protect her. She stared at Susan silently. "I’ve heard the rumors
too," she admitted at last. "But it isn’t true, they were killed in
a shuttle crash." The denial sounded faintly hollow, even to her own ears,
and she was struck by the sad look in Ivanova’s eyes. Talia turned away, not
really wanting the other woman to see her doubts. She only vaguely remembered
the haunted eyed woman who had given birth to her, or the angry young man who
had been her father, but she didn’t want to think about the possibility that
her existence had cost them their lives. She carefully set her glass aside,
suddenly stuck by the barren confines of her apartment. It was clean and utterly
frigid, expressing nothing of her personality. Talia shook her head silently,
rather like the image she projected so much of the time. Cool, distant,
unapproachable. She was PsiCorps, and that meant people feared her, and she
could never allow anything, or anyone close.
She was so tired of it all.
"I want you," Talia whispered, amazed to hear the
admission falling from her lips. The only response was an uncomfortable silence
behind her. Finally, tired of the silence, she turned, to find Susan staring at
her with wide eyes. Talia didn’t know what devil drew her, but she moved
closer to the commander, reaching out to pluck the glass from her hand and set
it aside. A moment later, she cupped Ivanova’s face in her hands, fully
expecting to have her touch slapped away. When she wasn’t rebuffed, she gave
herself over to impulse, leaning forward to taste sweet lips. The kiss started
slow, the barest of caresses, only to gain fire as their mouths met and blended.
Talia had dreamt of this for so long, wanted it so much, that she could scarcely
believe it was reality as she drank deeply from Ivanova’s mouth. Her heart
hammered in her chest, as her body responded with erotic fervor. When the kiss
broke, they were both gasping for air as though they’d run for miles, and they
leaned their foreheads together.
"Talia?" Susan croaked uneasily, her voice thicker
than normal.
"Shhhh," Winters exhaled and lifted a hand to tenderly
stroke dark hair. She didn’t have to be psychic to feel the other woman’s
confusion, or the ache vibrating through her body.
Susan turned her head as Talia’s hand slid through the
baby-fine hair at her temple, then down along the curve of her jaw. Her teeth
brushed slender fingers as she nipped and nibbled. She closed her eyes, amazed
by her own behavior. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. She’d never
been one to fall into bed with anyone, and yet she found herself on the verge of
doing just that.
"Touch me," Talia whispered near her ear, and Susan
started to lift a hand, as though driven by the other woman’s softly spoken
command. "No," Talia hissed, and lifted her hand back to Susan’s
cheek. "With your mind…feel me."
Ivanova wanted to resist the softly spoken command, but she
couldn’t. She needed this too much, needed to open herself up to someone, and
feel the touch of mind and body. The walls shattered and fell, and her mind was
suddenly a part of Talia Winters’, making love, as their bodies had yet to do.
She moaned softly as she felt invisible fingers caress her pleasure centers,
stroking her soul, making her feel loved and cared for.
She never wanted it to end.
By the time their mouths touched again, their minds and hearts
were already bound together. Clothes were thrown aside, forgotten as they
desperately sought the touch of flesh on flesh.
"Please," Talia whimpered as she sank down onto her
bed, drawing her lover down with her. Susan nodded wordlessly, responding with
her touch and her thoughts.
By the time morning came, they were bound together in mind and
body.
But neither one could guess at the poison hiding in Talia
Winters’ mind.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ *
"TRAITOR!! THE CORPS IS MOTHER, THE CORPS IS FATHER!!"
The words rang in Susan Ivanova’s mind as she froze in place,
staring at the woman standing at the other end of the bar. Her heart was
suddenly hammering in her chest, and it felt as though someone had drained all
the air out of the room. Her fingers tightened on the glass clutched in her hand
and she whimpered very softly.
Talia.
Talia Winters.
Oh God, it was actually her.
Susan felt sick, dizzy, overwhelmed with a rich blending of pain
and anger.
Bester had said Talia was dead, and she’d hoped it was true.
She hadn’t wanted to think of her lover living like that, as some cruel,
brutal thing that was totally antithetical to her every belief. As she silently
watched, the slender blond draped herself over a handsome young man in the
uniform of a Psi Cop.
Susan threw her drink back in one gulp and ordered another,
hoping the alcohol would do something to soothe her shredded emotions. The
bartender looked askance at her, but a hard glare forestalled any comments. She
was already emotionally fragile at best. Marcus’ death and her own unwitting
part in it had left her feeling hopelessly shattered. All he had ever wanted was
to love her, and she hadn’t even been able to allow that. She almost threw the
glass back onto the bar, not caring whether it shattered or not, tossed down a
handful of credits to cover her bill, and hurried toward the door.
She didn’t realize she’d been seen until a rich voice
reached her ears.
"Hello, Susan."
Ivanova looked up slowly, the color draining from her face as
she saw who stood between herself and the door. She swallowed hard.
"Control," she hissed.
The woman’s head canted to one side. Susan couldn’t help but
notice her hair was longer, and she was paler, almost ghostlike. People came and
went around them, but neither woman seemed to notice.
"I’m Talia now, you might as well accept it."
A smirk twisted Ivanova’s mouth. "No…Talia’s dead.
You’re nothing but a Gollem in her image. Accept that."
Control’s mouth twisted. She didn’t like hearing that…not
one little bit. She drew nearer, the long, elegant body slinking sensually. She
leaned close, her breath playing over Susan’s face. "Poor little Ivanova,"
she said with mock sympathy. "Faced with her lost love." She leaned
still closer. "Do you remember all the sweet nothings you whispered in my
ear, all the tender avowals of love and loyalty?" The Talia-Thing smiled
wolfishly. "I know I do. I think about them sometimes…and laugh."
Susan almost hit her right then and there. Only profound
self-control held her back. "Bitch," she hissed, snatching out a hand,
with the intent of pushing her aside. Her hand clamped down on the bare skin
above a leather glove and below the edge of Control’s jacket sleeve. The
sensation of flesh on flesh jolted Ivanova, nearly shattering her barely held
control. For the briefest second, she was in the past, lost in the feel of Talia’s
skin against her own.
"My, but we were good together," Control whispered
breathlessly, thick arousal permeating the smoky voice. The sound yanked Ivanova
back to the present as she realized her walls had dropped, and the creature in
the body of her lover, had seen into her thoughts. Susan could feel her still
there, dark, slinky, and supremely sexy. "No!" she gritted as she
clamped down, pushing the barricades back up through sheer force of will.
"You still want me," the Talia-Thing drawled
knowingly, her eyes sparkling with predatory hunger.
"Just your body," Susan sneered, intentionally running
her eyes over the blonde’s exquisite frame. "Past that…I rather wish
Bester had been telling the truth for once…and your brain really was on a
shelf somewhere."
Control’s skin flushed. She didn’t like that one either. She
was a woman used to being in power, to having men and women fall at her feet.
Intent on taking command of the situation, she reached out, trailing a single
finger down Susan’s cheek. "I want you," she whispered suddenly,
intentionally echoing words uttered in another lifetime.
Ivanova ran her eyes over sleek curves, her expression
insulting. "I might take you bound and gagged…but I doubt it," she
sneered and this time she did push the woman aside, stepping past her.
"All right," the Talia-Thing allowed as Susan swept
by.
That caught Ivanova by surprise. She spun back, staring at the
tall blond. "You can’t be serious," she denied.
"Oh, but I am," Control promised as she grabbed
Ivanova by the lapels of her jacket, hauling her close. The look in her eyes was
intense, wicked, and hungry. "I want you," she growled. "Kinky’s
fine by me. In fact … I like the idea." She leaned forward and bit the
point of Susan’s chin in a strikingly sensual gesture, not caring who might be
watching.
"What’s to stop me from choking the life out of
you?" Ivanova demanded shakily.
Control smile wickedly. "You won’t," she said with
total confidence. "That would be too easy for you."
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ *
Susan Ivanova didn't want to look to closely at what she was
doing…or why…revenge, lust, or some desperate driven need to deny the truth.
She didn't know which answer was the real one, but none of them were terribly
appealing. She bound narrow wrists to the bed in her rented room, trying
desperately to ignore the knowing grin on full lips. If she weren't so painfully
aroused, she would have been in the bathroom, throwing up. A part of her didn't
want this…didn't want the pain it would bring, but she couldn't seem to walk
away…no matter how much she wanted to.
And then she was leaning over that long, lean body, fingers
rough, teeth digging in.